What have I learned?

For my last reflection I'd like to look back on the class and how I've learned how to facilitate and how I have grown: I think the amount of knowledge I've gained from this class has been amazing. I really didn’t think in the beginning I'd have the opportunity to use the techniques from the book and what you had spoken of during lectures because my title is not "facilitator". I think I have had a misconception about exactly what facilitation & leadership was. Now that I have a better understanding of what a facilitator does; I have found many times to use the knowledge I've gained with the classes I teach and even with my advisees at Career and Academic Planning.

The first opportunity I had to facilitate this year was within the first 3 weeks of class. I had the opportunity of teaching international students how to set smart goals. I learned to set up the talks in a circle so that it could foster a safe environment and spark conversation between the cohorts of students. Since they were all international it was important they felt safe with each other and that they were learning from each other. This allowed them to become close so that after the class was over they could still learn from each other and support each other. I also facilitated many conversations with them in smaller groups to find out what their struggles were in moving to America. To let them know that they are a group that needs to be there for each other and that they can best understand one another. I think the most important thing I've learned is to let them talk and let them get out their feelings with one another and their experiences, rather than talking about me or too much about myself. At first I felt I was always speaking because I didn’t give them the chance. Once I shut up they would just flow with ideas, thoughts, feelings and their emotions. It was great to see that these sessions I set up were helping them.

The next opportunity was with the CEOs, and I must say the difference between my first facilitation and the facilitation with the CEOs was huge! You were there to view it and see how I’ve learned to facilitate and although I thought I might be nervous I wasn’t, I felt comfortable and having Jess and Carrie as a support was great. Although, I still did not speak up as much as I had wanted and thought I was, I felt that I really had grown from that experience. I really feel in this class by allowing myself to mess up during class and to watch my peers and learn from their mistakes, I’ve grown significantly. Watching their distracting habits and what they make mistakes on to try and learn not to do them myself. I've learned that I need to make my voice louder when I speak. To work with others, to be welcoming and understanding to members in a group, to try to let groups work out their issues, to stay neutral, that I'm not perfect, I make mistakes and that it is okay to make mistakes. I feel learning all this has allowed me to grow and that I will continue to grow as I have more opportunities to use the techniques.

Facilitation

It is interesting to watch the different groups facilitate and observe that certian people take on the leadership role for the group. For example there may be 4 people in a group but 1 or 2 might become the primary speaker and they because they may be more comfortable or they just like to lead naturally. I think for Jerry's group it was easier for him to speak and get more involved but also Brian who did not know the group really became comfortable and was as involved as Jerry. I think they did an excellent job. I am sure they had decided it would have been too much for a group of four to facilitate for only 6 people and I like how they did that so that it didnt become too confusing.

It was really helpful to get critiques on my group so that we could better write our paper, it made the paper flow very well. We had a really easy time writing it because we all knew what we wanted to say. We created an outline and passed it around (via email) incorporating things we would all like to address in the paper. It allowed for us all to express our opinions and make sure we were not redundant in the paper. Then we broke it up in parts and this made it a lot easier than having to all sit down together and try to write it. I really like the way we decided to do it. If I were to do a group project again I would suggest this method.

I also found it useful to watch myself. I realize that I need to speak up. I have not always been soft spoken but I have developed that in the past couple years. I looks like I am not confident. It is definitly something I need to work on. I think it was awesome how our group knew each others strengths and weaknesses and played them to our advantage during our facilitation. We made a great team I must say! Having Jess and Carrie allowed me to utilize my strengths especially when it came to the end. I can be very extraverted and I loved doing the cinnaroll hug when they didnt want too. I felt good about it!

At this point I'm trying to think of what to do for next class where we facilitate a discussion. I think I have an idea. I wanted to write some questions on a notecard about the specific section and have groups of 2 or 3 talk about their opinion after having a few minutes to discuss. Then that way we can share with the class and then come up with other ideas if we can. I think by splitting it into groups it will help reduce my time since we only have ten minutes. I hope this works. Lets see what you think!

and then it just clicked...

I think there comes a time in every class where everything just clicks for you. That time was tonight for me. Working within my group helped me step back and look at the whole picture. All these ideas were flying by me and all I kept thinking was we need to step back, breathe and try again. It was an actual learning process where everyone is throwing out there ideas and sometimes we were not listening to each other but finally we all came together and realized, keep it simple and let the client own their problem and solution. The facilitator is that neutral role. I feel I am often very opinionated and it's hard for me not to say how I think and feel, SO hard! However it needs to be done, and I think the best way for me to control that is to help make it easy for my client to come up with their own solution to their problem. I had heard you say that before when you were talking but tonight it finally sparked in my mind.

When you asked if it helped I immediately responded with a yes because it did, it honestly put the pieces together in my mind and got to work out a problem together with everyone. I guess using a real life problem and getting several group members input helped me apply what I had been learning in the book. Most of the time learning is that way for me. Things don't make sense to me until I do it.

Another gem for me today was that I wasn't as nervous while I was presenting. I feel that I took my time, and tried to articulate my thoughts the best I could so that everyone understood what I was saying. However that was from my perspective and I wonder what others thought or if they understood me. I think the hardest for me was to just be calm. I slowed my speech, thought about what I wanted to say before I got up there and all of that combined really helped me to not get flustered like I normally do.

I think tonight was a milestone for me in this class and I am glad that it happened. I will re-do my individual leadership case so that I can better create a facilitation plan for the CEO's. We'll see how that goes.

Facilitation as a group

Over the past two weeks we have been struggling with our client. I feel though that we have finally solidified our topic that we will work with them. Deeper communication and teambuilding, this is essential for this group because they work so closely together and Chandra and Jane feel now that they are about to have a surge of programs they are working on it is more important than ever.
Now that we have found a better idea to help them it is getting a bit easier, however we feel limited in time. We have so many great ideas but we feel limited by an hour. This will be our biggest struggle. We discussed with Chandra and Jane going over a few minutes so that we will not feel rushed. We definitely want some input from you to get more details about what you think might be good. We plan on doing our session on Nov 11th. We don’t want to feel unprepared. We will have to discuss more with you next week. I am learning a lot while working with Jess and Carrie. I think that their different perspectives allow me to think in different ways. Carrie says she is introverted which brings us back when we feel we may make introverts uncomfortable with an activity she always brings something up so that we are conscious of how others feel. Jessica has so many amazing experiences that she can draw from to make this facilitation great. I am glad that we are working together so well.
I really enjoyed reading my book for the book presentation. I am really glad that I finally had a reason and the opportunity to read it. I found that the things mention in the book are key as a facilitator to be able to be friends look people in the eye when you are speaking with them, make them feel comfortable. There is so much I feel any leader or facilitator could gather from that book. It is an amazing reference, you have to read it yearly I feel so that you can humble yourself and remind yourself of how to act around others.
On another note, Jerry’s icebreaker was really fun! I had an awesome time with that one and I can’t wait to use it! It was great how he just got us to laugh. I think that one would be good to use especially when you first meet people to establish comfort within the group. I know that would help me a lot.

Readings that resonate with me!

I think one of the most interesting parts of the book that has been resonating with me is the sections where it discusses tips on yourself. I feel that part is a tough one, especially letting perfectionism go. That is so difficult for me especially when I mess us I get stressed and think “great, I’ve messed up, what is the point!” Although I should be saying “okay breathe, keep going.” That is so difficult for many people I feel but I think the most important thing for me to remember is half of the time people do not know when you mess up. If you are up speaking in front of a group of people most of the time they don’t realize when you mess up or do not get the right answer.
“Stop being in a hurry” This I have definitely been working on the past year. I have been trying to slow my speech so that I don’t screw up and stumble on my words. Plus it is hard for others to follow when you are talking so fast. I know it is hard for me to pay attention when someone is talking so fast you can’t keep up. I have been trying to learn that from others mistakes. When I watch people publicly speak now, I keep note of things they do and do not do and try to incorporate it in my next speech.
I think it will be a challenge for me when I have to give my few minutes on my book to slow down, remember everyone there supports me and to not get flustered if I screw up. I have been practicing so that I can do it better. I feel that practicing has been setting me up for success as the book discusses. You don’t want to over stretch yourself but you want to do a little bit more each time so that you can grow. I think by giving myself little challenges each time I speak in public it will help me to grow tremendously
Another part in section six that I feel I resonated with was the “Nonverbal Cues” section. All of the things discussed in this section eye contact, tone, inflection, attentiveness, facial expressions, etc. are things that every speaker and facilitator should be aware of. I think eye contact is the biggest key. If you can look people in the eye as they are talking to you or vice versa the comfort level you have would increase immediately. I know it helps me gain confidence but I often lose sight of that and forget.
Reading the distracting habits was good for me so that I could realize some of my own. I am definitely aware of some of my distracting habits and when I am with a group of people I definitely try to become more aware of those habits as not to throw anyone off. Even if I am not speaking in front of people, I could just be working in a group or listening to someone else present. I often play with my hair and don’t realize it but I try to stop myself now because I know that for me distracting habits of others throw me off when I am doing something and I can’t help but focus on their distracting habits. How could they not notice mine?
Essentially I know that I have things to work on and things to be conscious about when I am speaking in front of others or working within a group, or even facilitating. I know that I do not have to be perfect which makes it a little bit easier to not feel so much pressure. I feel I am growing within this course and my comfort level with things and becoming a better facilitator. I am hoping that this facilitation session with Chandra will turn out as I want and we can really develop some good communication and teambuilding within their group. I hope that my flaws do not stand in the way of that. I know though that I am just learning and so I hope that I don't let my insecurities get in the way of a great facilitation session.

Mixed Feelings

I have really started to get into my book "How to win friends and influence people." It’s really interesting how a little bit of self reflection can change you. I have been trying to not criticize condemn or complain. So far that’s the best advice I’ve ever received, crazy that it came from a book. I have been wanting to read this book for a while but have been putting it off. I am glad I am finally getting the chance to read it. I read about 15 minutes every night and some nights I don't want to put it down. A few classes ago the topic of burning out really sparked my interest. I find it so easy to burn out and I have found with most of my facilitations lately I have to take a few minutes after to follow up with myself. I do workshops every week called MCDP which are self discovery classes for students where I discuss how they are feeling about the major they have chosen, what they have chosen, what career choices they are planning to make, what is valuable to them, if their parents agree with their choices...etc. I find that I often want to share my values and opinions but I have to remember this is about them and as a facilitator I am a neutral party that moves the discussion along to allow them to reflect on themselves. I find that this activity has been great experience to be a facilitator. I am excited to continue practicing. I didn’t realize I would have so much practice with my current position at Career and Academic Planning but I think that it will help when we do the activity for our clients. I am teaching a class called IS 202, I was excited to hear that the professors that I teach with thought I was doing an excellent job and were interested in me facilitating the last two classes. This will be a great opportunity and I'm excited to learn more about what I will be doing. I have mixed feelings about last class. I felt a little uncomfortable and after thinking for a bit. I think that I really built up my nerves since we were getting individual feedback right after each person. I think that it just siked me out on top of the distractions of people throwing up their hands. I felt I really bombed something that should of been easy for me. I am realizing that it is actually harder for me to get up in front of people I know and mess up rather than strangers. I feel this is a bit weird since most people can get up in front of strangers and feel so nervous and anxious, yet I am the complete opposite. I have been noticing this more and more as I do facilitations with people I know and get more and more nervous within class. I have known 10 of the 14 classmates for over a year and yet I still get nervous when I do presentations. I think I possibly care more about what they think.
On a more positive note, Courtney's icebreaker was great and I can't wait to use it. I think she really thought it through and came up with an excellent foreshadowing idea for the class. Kudos to Courtney!

Butterflies... in the stomach

I can honestly say I am really nervous about this class, and but nervous I mean an excited nervous where you are anxious and ready to learn but afraid of messing up. I am anxious to develop my skills as a facilitator and leader. I think the first class that we had definitely broke the ice and helped me to become more comfortable with everyone in our class. I still got nervous during the presentation about my past leadership experience, my voice was shaking. I believe that is one area that I would really like to work on and improve upon during my time in this class. Getting up in front of people and being comfortable. I can talk in class and do activities but put me in front of a group and I get really anxious, especially when I have to talk about myself. Developing those skills, as becoming a great public speaker, facilitator, and leader will be a lot of work and I think this class will allow me to reflect on past experiences and to practice. I feel the environment which we have to practice is a safe environment and will allow for mistakes and reflection which is what you need as you are honing your skills.


Making my facilitator bag was really fun but a little frustrating because I didn’t know exactly what to get and when I did pick something up I had to think of ways I would use it. Some items that I got were a bit random and I thought that I could come up with some creative ideas and ways to use them. I thought that maybe I can see what some of my classmates got and get feedback on what they will do with their items. We learned that brainstorming is key, so I am definitely going to ask other people what they think of my items. I am excited to add on to my bag so that I can use it with the classes I am teaching this semester and next semester.

I think it will definitely be a useful tool since I work primarily with undergrads. They are sometimes a difficult bunch to get up and get moving and I think this bag might help to make them laugh and not feel that they can't talk to me or their peers. I want to take on a big role next semester as a T. A. for one of the undergraduate classes associated in this program. I feel this challenge is going to improve my skills greatly as a facilitator and a leader. I asked Amy, the woman I teach IS202 with if I could facilitate a class on my own soon and she said "GREAT! That’s a wonderful idea!" I am excited because it is just going to help me grow and practice my skills as a facilitator. I have already had the chance to practice one of my favorite on my students the first day. For the first class I had them stand in two lines facing each other. (a little background, these are international students who are all away from home...FAR AWAY!) When they had something in common I told them to move forward. When they did not have something in common they moved a step backwards. Eventually they all became one line. The purpose was to show them that they are all in the same boat, they all miss their families and friends, they all wish they could have their favorite dish that their mom makes, and that they were all apprehensive about starting at JMU. As advisors and teachers we wanted them to know that those feelings were okay and that we are all a support system they can lean on if they need to talk or need to know something about campus. Laura and Mary who are also professors told me I did a great job and that they wanted to use it sometime. That really built my confidence that I have the abilities to become a great facilitator that I just need to practice more and get fresh ideas to use with different groups. I am looking forward to practicing a LOT more through out this year.